Quarterlife Crisis

**Disclaimer: All of this is said with good humor and intent :)

I do not like you. I am glad this is the last night I have to shut my bathroom door so my apt does not smell like an ash tray. Why do you have to smoke so much? Why do you find it necessary to play your cowboy redneck music at full volume late at night? I mean it does not have the same effect as rap music. Maybe you will get lung cancer soon or go deaf from the loud music.

Respectfully,

your 3rd floor neighbor

Dear Weatherman,

Please do not let it snow an insane amount on Thursday. I was really enjoying this spring weather in January. I don't think I'll know what to do with several inches of predicted snow. As long as you keep any bad weather away for Tuesday, I guess I can deal with snow on Wednesday and Thursday.

Thank you,

Southern girl

Dear Sonic on 34th,

Why do you always screw up my orders? How hard is it to include marinara sauce with cheese sticks? How hard is it to put ranch or honey mustard on a chicken wrap? Why do you never put ketchup in my bag so I have to ask for it before I leave? Not that you care, but I will just go to Braum's next door next time. At least they have ice cream and groceries in one stop.

Best regards,

Cherry Limeade lover

Dear Dish Network,

Why do you find it necessary to leave me the responsibility of removing my current satellite dish? Why can't you just use the same dish in my new apartment? This is sort of ridiculous. Maybe your technicians will realize this and just reuse my current satellite dish tomorrow. That way I don't have to discard 6 concrete bricks used to install my first dish.

Sincerely,

New Dish customer